Today is one month since Margarita crossed over the rainbow bridge. The last month has brought so much pain, but also much comfort in seeing just how many other people love Sweet Reet. The thoughtful gestures and gifts presented to Brian and I not only have warmed our hearts, but also opened our eyes even more so to how blessed we are to have such a large support group – both near and far. I have been a wreck (to put it lightly) and Brian has been my rock despite his own sadness. I just could not find the words to write this morning, but then I saw the following posted on a friendโs page, which is pretty much spot-on for how I feel – and accurately describes Rita :
“We could live a thousand lifetimes and Iโd like to think that Iโd always find you, in every single one. And I hope one day Iโll have the words for that moment that we met. That kismet feeling like my subconscious had been looking for you my whole life without me knowing it. I recognized you instantly and Iโll never know how or why, but Iโm so darned grateful you were mine. You changed my whole world. More than one could ever imagine. You were bigger than life. You still are I guess. My once in a lifetime. You just loved it all so much. You loved every single moment of this life. Every person, animal, all of it. You appreciated life in a way I donโt think Iโve ever seen before. You were a miracle, and i know that sounds so ridiculous, but thereโs no question, itโs just what you were in the most subtle and humble of ways. You had a life. You got to live. That was the miracle. And Iโll never stop being grateful for that, for our [5] years together, but I hate that youโre gone now. I hate it so much. I donโt want to do any of this without my [girl]. I just donโt want to. But Iโm glad youโre healthy again somewhere. Iโm glad youโre finally free. But I wish you could have stayed. More than anything I wish you could have stayed.โ ~Author Unknown
The photo posted is my all time favorite picture of Margarita. Iโm not sure whyโฆ I have many better pictures of herโฆ.It wasnโt taken at any special event, her piggy nose is out of focusโฆyet for some reason – it has always been my work email profile pic, my Apple Watch background photo, my phone wallpaper, the photo I choose of her for everything โฆ Maybe it was just the way she was looking at me – or maybe it was because it was taken soon after I met her โฆ soon after my life changed forever.
